emma welles

i’ve noticed that a lot of job postings use nearly the exact same catch phrases to describe the characteristics of their ideal candidates…

1. “must be a team player” = we want you to do bitchwork without complaint
2. “have exceptional attention to detail” = we make tons of mistakes, it will be your job to fix them. and don’t miss any or you’re fired
3. “must be a self-starter” = we know everything and don’t have time to teach you. come with psychic abilities or don’t bother to interview (thanks, B)
4. “ability to work independently and as part of a team” = this strange oxymoronic statement should be read: “no shit.”
5. “thrive in a fast-paced environment” = we will never give you enough time to do anything but half-assed work because we don’t have the balls to tell our clients their demands are impossible to fulfill.

now, maybe i’m being judgmental, but what’s with the lack of creativity? especially from “creative” companies. a job posting should reflect the culture of the company, rather than make it sound exactly like all the others…